Monday Morning Meandering


Happy Monday and Good Morning!

First of all I want to start out sating ‘Good Morning!” again. 🙂

Second of all I would like to tell you about a little positive thinking experiment I have been doing for a week. Starting off with a little background info that led to the experiment.

I had found myself becoming mired down in the murky-mucky of negativity. I started to feel overwhelmed with all of the things that I needed to accomplish. Not just the daily activities of cleaning the house but also looking at the things I needed to accomplish as a writer, mother,  crafter of jewelry, and photographer. I also needed to go through all of the boxes that I recently brought home from the storage unit that I had for a year. Those boxes are dusty and kind of stink from that dust.

I saw all of these things to do as one huge task and I started to feel as if it were physically weighing me down. I didn’t like it at all, no not one bit. All of this crap, all of this ….

Anyway…

I felt the negative energy filling up my body and it colored the way I looked at everyday life. I started to not like anything. Even the smallest thing to do felt like a mountain. I was completely overwhelmed with life, that was how I felt. All I wanted to do was find a cave to go into so I could hide. I became depressed, irritable , and bitchy towards everyone and everything. Then I was irritable towards myself for being irritable towards everyone else. A cycle of negativity was born.

I didn’t like it but I didn’t feel like I could change anything for the better so I just gave in to it. I allowed that negativity to take over and control how I saw things and how I reacted to things. I had been fighting it for a while now and it actually felt good to just let It win. Not the best choice for a happy life but it was what I had chosen.

Lately it started to get worse. I didn’t like it anymore, I wanted something different. I wanted to change. I didn’t know how. I’d forgotten how to let it go and be happy again.

I started reading a book titled “When You’re Falling Dive” by Cheri Huber.  A good friend of mine recommended it to me. As I was reading it, the words began to take hold in my subconsciousness. I agreed with the words and feeling of what I was reading but still didn’t know how to get it going inside of me. What I didn’t realize at the time was that it was taking root. I just needed to feed the ideas so that they would grow. A few couple of weeks went past.

Then, and I don’t know exactly when but I know it was in the middle of the night, I had an epiphany of sorts. I knew that I could go on feeling weighed down, exhausted, crappy, disgusted with life and everything in it, or I could consciously change that mode of thinking.

So I changed the thinking thing.

It was as if I flipped a switch and changed my point of view about what I was doing and how I was reacting to life. It wasn’t easy for me and I actually argued with myself about the pros and cons of even attempting this changing thinking thing. So I made a deal with myself about it.

I would, for one week, wake up every morning thinking that it was a good day regardless of how I physically felt or what was going on around me. I repeated this to myself through out the day. It was weird at first, but as the first day became the second, then the third, and so on…

I remembered something.

I remembered how good it felt to feel good.

For too long now I had chosen (for one reason or another), to allow the negativity around me to infect me. It did feel like an infection too. I felt tired, worn out, like I was coming down with a cold when really it was only the typical allergies thing. I could see then, just how much I had allowed the negativity to seep into every space in my being.

I didn’t berate myself for feeling negative, I actually felt thankful for the opportunity to re-learn how good it feels to feel good.

After a solid week of doing this positive thinking in the morning thing, I feel good and I’m sticking with it.

I know that I may slip back into the negative pool of sludge that is still hanging around waiting for me, but at least now I know how to pull myself out of it.

Have a Great day, or not, the choice is yours. 🙂

P.S. I still need to go through the stinky old boxes, but I don’t feel overwhelmed by the task. I’m thinking of how good it will feel to have gone through all of them. I’ll either donate, toss out, or sell at a yard sale the physical items that no longer serve a useful purpose in my life.

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